with summers soft membranes clinging still.
Limb by limb I stack the wood breathing hard.
Lady shakes her head snorting her displeasure
of the snow now falling around us. I work on
while clouds puff from my body in the misty cold.
I hear my voice echoing tinged with frost stay girl stay.
winters frost has come
wrapping us in biting cold
my voice echos ice
21 comments:
I love each word of this poem...and the ending says it all...my voice echoes ice...
i like the poem but i wish i was walking in that woods in the picture
i find this very peaceful and I agree with Susie, the last line explains everything. overall it's a lovely poem.
It comes at me from an oblique angle. I rather like that. Impressive.
You have me shivering - with pleasure at the poem and with cold at the images it gave me.
I had to look up "haibun." I love learning new poetry terms. I don't love winter, but your poem is a perfect representation. I feel the cold and can just see the breath on the cold air.
This gave a complete picture with feeling. Enjoy your fire. Great Haiku too.
This is not the first haibun I've seen, and the form intrigues me. You've not only let the story emerge from the words, but the two parts of the haibun complement each other well.
-Nicole
nicely done indeed...thanks for sharing your words
Cold winter is coming right on time, true enough! Great poem!
Hank
How beautiful!
Thanks much Susie. Glad you liked it.
Melanie
Thank you Theodore for stopping by. Happy you liked my poem.
Melanie
Much thanks Priyanka for your kind comment.
Melanie
Thanks Dave, So glad you liked it.
Melanie
Much thanks Viv. Glad you like my words and imagery.
Melanie
Lolamouse, you should try writing a h
Haibun and search a short Japanese poetry sight. There many forms. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Melanie
Thanks Tigerbrite for your comment.
Melanie
Much thanks RWP. Give one a try. There are so many Japanese short form poetry. I love to experiment with them all.
Melanie
Thank you Wayne. Glad you liked it.
Melanie
Much thanks MBK for stopping by and reading my Haibun. Glad you liked it.
Melanie
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